found-text — mark haddon artwork

Dear
Recieving your letter ( ) fills me with great
joy, rekindled within the special feel of those
days at W - Days which seem so far away
but have never become just another memory of the distant
but very beautiful past. As I've written before + will echo
again, the love & happiness that flowed forth then
lives with me now, + always will be a reality in the
present wherever I travel. I feel you with me + it feels good. It
would have been great to have seen you in August
but as you've written in your letter, the date's not
actually important, + a few years hence will be just
as good. Time is such a difficult concept to grasp
+ with so many lifetimes to lead maybe it won't
be relevant to meet again until another one - (I hope
not - but who know?) Life unfolds itself
gradually, + all its seeming strangeness +
confusion has such logical rightness, + perfect
relevance in the natural rhythm of the universe.
In the meantime we've both got our own lives to
lead, our own paths to follow, each chosing in

// verso //

various ways just how we'll learn our lessons.
The tomorrows remain an exciting discovery
In other ways not seeing you in august feels frustrating for
it means just being with you again will answer so many of my barely
defined
questions
I want to apologise in this letter for the
vagueness of some of the others - vagueness in the sense of being
I'm sorry to have been a bit non-commital as to just
what was going (3) on within the jumbled thoughts of
my head my own inner confusion was connected
not with how I feel in regards to you
no amount of heavy analysing can dim the beauty of what the future has
been my brain
those magical
days
What do I want to do with my life. I'm left still
uncertain knowing inwardly that I shouldn't waste
my time pondering over the future but just to go
with the natural flow Normally I'm a person
who acts very much on just instincts + feelings - but
somehow or other during the last few weeks - I'd get
caught up with intellectual analysing - sitting with
question I didn't want to think about - questions
that will not be solved when I see you again -
I'm maybe I'm still not ready to face i.e. what if
we meet again if its still just as perfect? then what if
part of me knows that meeting you would answer most of my
questions
Recieving Your letter was great - + it felt so reasuring just
reading your words which reflected exactly the
contents of my mind. To you also there is no worry
as to when exactly we'll meet again. We know it'll
happen whenevers just right for us both. patience
is a quality I need to internalise, also pure (1)
unquestioning acceptance as trusting that what
ever happens is perfect for us.

// new page //

I have to face
I think may be I will have
to face having not met you in Aug
before
confusing my return even
more with

a reunion may
offer alternative
possibilities,
futures

+ for our development. To me returning to England will be
a big challenge in itself
Part of me though
needs to see you - needs
in the sense that I feel
just my being
with you
answers so many of my questions yet I’ve known I have to come to

I have my own fear about
terms with
the fitting in again, settling down which I have to england first come to terms
with + find a way round. learning now not to ‘stagnate’
under a routined existence + pressures of work,
commitments... I love the spontaneity + freedom I
experience when traveling - Being able to be so much more
open to new opportunities + events, new people...
I don’t want to lose it.
The feel of England is in many ways very different
to what I’ve picked up elsewhere. Its the sense of sadness with a country full
with the feel of the people impregnated
with a disproportionate sense of sadness with a real the
many’
of the people the
“fears” + unwanted isolation separates the people who
remain separate, trapped within their own loneliness + frutrations

I love being amongst the beauty and nature the
England losing so much of its natural beauty at a
hills, forest, lake
frighteningly rapid place - with the ever increasing population
too vast for its size - the concrete jungles continue
to straggle the land fume smogs choke the air my words may reflect only the great
negativity - but also the reality of the situation
of course their is beauty around of course its everywhere
+ so many ways such much more admirable
in the flower struggling for existence amongst the
pave stones - but the beauty is so much harder to find in
when compared to the sheer expanse of countryside I’ve
been emmersed in else where + I personally feel so
much more in tune + in harmony myself, when
amongst the natural beauty around - The full
meaningless of days are impass

I must confess
unable
yet part felt
almost relieved that August wasn’t
not seeing you in aug is almost
easier in the sense
for me it’ll be less
complicated
returning to Eng
& having not have
returned for
3 years - I have
what
but in another way
not seeing

in the sense that I’m
can avoid S
by meeting you just very intensity of it
returning to Britain I’m not ready to
face the stark
again
the

See you in any
Part of me feels